Births Beyond Belief???

This week on Discovery Health is Baby Week. My good friend text me to watch their first episode of the week called, "Births Beyond Belief." The episode followed 3 vaginal births. The first birth was an unintentional unassisted birth in Hawaii. The husband ended up delivering the baby because the wife's birth happened so fast. The husband did an amazing job. It was so natural and NORMAL. The midwife ended up coming 15 minutes after the healthy baby was born. She delivered the placenta. It was such a peaceful beautiful birth attended by the mother in law and their two children. The second birth was in Los Angeles. The couple was planning a homebirth but couldn't not have one because the baby was breeched. In California midwives are not allowed to delivery breeched babies. They had to deliver in the hospital so the couple found the one doctor to deliver their breeched baby. Even though she had to compromise and get an epidural, the delivery looked so natural and NORMAL. The Dr. and nursing staff was so great and the happy couple had their vaginal birth that they wished for. The 3rd birth was in New Jersey. It was a water birth attended by a midwife, doula and family. The baby came out so beautifully, straight into Mommy's arms. Again so natural and NORMAL. It's so interesting that the media labels what women do NATURALLY as something that is "beyond belief." No wonder our C-section rate is at it's highest rate. Natural, NORMAL, beautiful births are not the norm any more even though women have been doing natural births for THOUSANDS OF YEARS. This makes me sad and angry. Yes hospitals are necessary if someone is a high risk pregnancy, or if there is a medical necessity. I ended up having an unplanned C-section. That was a necessity. But to label NORMAL, NATURAL births as something "beyond belief," is just not right. (Thursday there is another episode Freebirthing.)

On a side note, I found myself weeping, watching the two homebirths. I wasn't sure if it was purely tears of joy for the couples or it was pain and disappointment of NOT having my own homebirth. I still don't know. I think it was a bit of both. I guess I am not done healing from my disappointment. It still hurts and there was a pinch in my heart when watching those amazing homebirths. But I guess that's part of the process.

Difference in Care

Yesterday I had two appointments, one with the OB who did my C-Section and the other one with my midwives April and Sherry.  I just wanted to note how different the care is between Dr. Bolnick and my awesome midwives.   I must say that Dr. Bolnick's nurse Stella is awesome and she really wanted to know how I was doing.  I spent most of the time talking to her.  She cooed at Nainoa and asked me how I was doing.   When Dr. Bolnick came in his visit with me lasted one minute.  I am not even kidding.  He poked around my belly and said,  "K...looks good, see you in 4 weeks."   I thought to myself,  THAT'S IT?   My abdominal was cut open and that's all your going to give me?  One minute of your time????  REALLY??  So I had to make up questions just to feel like I had some time.   No sex for 4 more weeks.  I can walk and run.  No sit ups.  I can drive.  See ya later alligator.

Sherry, Nainoa and April

I couldn't wait to see April and Sherry.   When I arrived and went to her office, we all greeted each other with hugs.  Our time together lasted almost an hour!  We weighed Nainoa and he weighs 9lbs 3oz!  He's gained two pounds since he was born.  April was saying that they like to see newborns come back to their birth weight at two weeks and Nainoa went past his.  Considering he was a NICU baby, that's pretty good!   April said I had great boobs for breast feeding and I must say I think she's right.  I lost 20 lbs. too!  :)  She asked me how breast feeding was going, how I was sleeping,  how my bleeding was,  how my emotional state was and more.   She held Nainoa the whole time.   We talked about my birth and how I was strong and I did everything I could.   A vaginal birth was just not the way Nainoa was going to come out.  It was so nice to talk to Sherry and April.  Ivan thanked them for all that they did.  I really didn't want the visit to end.  I feel so bonded with April and Sherry, even though I ended up in the hospital.  To me, they are the ones I spent the most important and memorable part of my labor.  I am definitely going to do a VBAC with my next child.  Hopefully we'll still live in Vegas because I really would love to have April, Sherry and Tiffany as my birth team.   

In The Blood

I finally had the home birth conversation with my parents and it didn't go how pictured it all.  It exceeded my expectations!!!   I spent the weekend in Bakersfield to help my parents pack their stuff since they are moving in with us at the end of March.  Last night at dinner I asked my Dad if he was born at home.  He said, "of course we were and your Auntie Esther delivered your Uncle Eddie."  Auntie Ester was a nurse.  He then proceeded to tell me that my Grandma Luisa was a nurse and delivered all the babies in  the barrio!!!   He told me that he came from a poor town and that doctors wouldn't come to the barrios, so my Grandma delivered them all.  THEN, my Mom starts telling me how my Grandpa Lucio was a doctor and he delivered all the babies in her town!  She said Grandpa was  the doctor of the poor.  Mom told me that the people often couldn't pay for their services so they would offer their chicken, carabao, pigs etc.   My Grandpa would graciously accept and say that he would pick it up at a later time but he never would collect.   My Mom told me that she was there when her youngest brother was born and that Grandpa wouldn't let my Grandma sit down.  She had to stand or squat.   I think that scarred her so she said to me, "I don't want to be there and listen to you scream.  I'm going to the movie."   LOL  I told her that was totally fine with me.  Then I asked my Dad if he wanted to be there.  I totally expected him to say no since he wasn't there for any of our births.  But then he said "Of course!"  Then my Mom said,  "HUH?  You left me at the hospital and you say yes to your daughter?"  LOL!   Well after our conversation I finally felt that a home birth was the right choice for me.   As corny as it may sound I feel like my Grandpa and my Grandma will be there with me, watching over me.  Sigh....I feel good,  I feel confident in saying that I am going for a home birth.   I feel like I have the support of my family and the support of my ancestors.   I'm going to go for it!!!

90%

Yesterday I had an appointment with my OB.  I've gained 20 pounds total, which is totally normal.  He said I'll probably gain about 10 more pounds which puts me at the normal gain weight in pregnancy.  Must say I'm happy about that!  I really like my OB, he's very cool.  He's actually delivered two of my friend's babies.  One was emergency cesarean and one was natural.   I asked him a bunch of questions which, which he answered in a way that I thought he would.  "Only if baby or Mom is in danger then  (fill in the blank)"  Then the big questions was "How do you feel about home births?"    Don don daaaaa.  He responded, "Birth is a natural process, and if that's the route you want to go then there's no point in seeing me."    Whhhheeewww.  The key sentence for me was, "Birth is a natural process."  I was so happy he said that. I was totally afraid he was going to try and steer me away from having a home birth.  For me that was kinda my blessing from him.  I knew I liked him for a reason.  I then asked him if I did go with a home birth and I needed to transfer to the hospital, could he still be my doctor.  Unfortunately I knew the answer would be "No", due to liability.  Which makes me sad, but I understand.   If I do have to transfer then I know I will be fine because I will have my midwife, doula, and my husband.  I'm totally fine with the transfer if I have to.  I'm open to whatever needs to happen.   So I am pretty much 90% water birth.  Since my parents will be actually living with us now, I have to talk to them about it.  My Dad was never at the hospital for any of our births.  He just dropped my Mom off, went to work and came back to see the baby. I know he's not going to want to be around for my birth.   Sigh...so that's the next big conversation I need to have.   Wish me luck!!!!!!!

Midwifery

Today we went to one of our 3 midwife interviews. We had an hour consultation with April who was really great. She was a labor and delivery nurse for 2 years here in Vegas then decided to go into her own midwifery practice. We asked a lot of questions and felt really comfortable with her. After today I feel more and more comfortable with the idea of a home birth especially a water birth. I'm probably 50/50 as of today. I still want to talk to my OB to get his opinion and ask him my slew of questions. The more and more I research home births, the more it doesn't seem so crazy. I like the fact that April said, "Just because you plan a home birth, things might happen and medical intervention isn't a bad thing. You might have a really long labor, be exhausted and need an epidural or pitocin." That's the thing. You can plan and plan but you can't REALLY plan, which is hard coming from the most planny person in the planet. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, although my ideal birth would be a water birth, if I HAD to transfer to the hospital, I'm okay with that. I know that I have to be flexible. The most important thing is my health and the health of my baby. So in the end it really doesn't matter if his first day is at home or at a hospital, as long as he's healthy.

YOUR CRAZY!!!

My husband and I just watched the documentary made by Rikki Lake called, "The Business of Being Born."  The film is about home births vs. hospital births and how our American culture has made a business out of giving birth.   It was truly an eye opening movie.  After the movie, Eye looks at me and says, "so...now what...are we having a home birth now?"  Before we watched that movie I was always fascinated about water births.  I love the water.   I learned how to swim when I was 18 months old.  Both my husband and I are Pisces, so water has been apart of our relationship.   Before the movie I was pretty much set on having a hospital birth and and maybe having a home birth for my 2nd child.  I have no idea of what to expect when I have my baby.  I have no idea how much pain I can tolerate.  I have no idea how it's going to go down.   I am scared of the pain.  I am scared of having cesarean, even though two of my best girl friends have had them and are completely fine.  I thought I would find comfort on being in a hospital, but now I am questioning that. I love the thought of being in control of my situation and environment.  I love the thought of my son entering the world in water with me and Eye.  I love the thought of being in the privacy of my own home.   I love the thought of going through the right of passage that millions of women have been through for centuries. 

 It's funny, now that I am showing, the question is now "Where are you delivering?"  When I have replied, "I was actually thinking about a home birth." The most common response is, "YOUR CRAZY!"   Am I?