Hau'oli La Hanau!

Nainoa is one year old today! I can't believe it. One year ago I had my almost home-birth turned C-section. My NICU baby who was 7 pounds 13 ounces, 21 inches long is now 25 pounds 30 1/4 inches long. Sigh...I swear it seems as if I blinked and woke up one year later.

We are off to L.A. today with Tutu in tow to celebrate Nainoa's birthday this Saturday. It is going to be a huge reunion for family and friends. I am so excited and overwhelmed to see everyone.

Happy Birthday Nainoa. You are the best thing that ever has happened to me. I cannot imagine life with you. You have my heart and you fill me with aloha every single day.

Births Beyond Belief???

This week on Discovery Health is Baby Week. My good friend text me to watch their first episode of the week called, "Births Beyond Belief." The episode followed 3 vaginal births. The first birth was an unintentional unassisted birth in Hawaii. The husband ended up delivering the baby because the wife's birth happened so fast. The husband did an amazing job. It was so natural and NORMAL. The midwife ended up coming 15 minutes after the healthy baby was born. She delivered the placenta. It was such a peaceful beautiful birth attended by the mother in law and their two children. The second birth was in Los Angeles. The couple was planning a homebirth but couldn't not have one because the baby was breeched. In California midwives are not allowed to delivery breeched babies. They had to deliver in the hospital so the couple found the one doctor to deliver their breeched baby. Even though she had to compromise and get an epidural, the delivery looked so natural and NORMAL. The Dr. and nursing staff was so great and the happy couple had their vaginal birth that they wished for. The 3rd birth was in New Jersey. It was a water birth attended by a midwife, doula and family. The baby came out so beautifully, straight into Mommy's arms. Again so natural and NORMAL. It's so interesting that the media labels what women do NATURALLY as something that is "beyond belief." No wonder our C-section rate is at it's highest rate. Natural, NORMAL, beautiful births are not the norm any more even though women have been doing natural births for THOUSANDS OF YEARS. This makes me sad and angry. Yes hospitals are necessary if someone is a high risk pregnancy, or if there is a medical necessity. I ended up having an unplanned C-section. That was a necessity. But to label NORMAL, NATURAL births as something "beyond belief," is just not right. (Thursday there is another episode Freebirthing.)

On a side note, I found myself weeping, watching the two homebirths. I wasn't sure if it was purely tears of joy for the couples or it was pain and disappointment of NOT having my own homebirth. I still don't know. I think it was a bit of both. I guess I am not done healing from my disappointment. It still hurts and there was a pinch in my heart when watching those amazing homebirths. But I guess that's part of the process.

From Homebirth to Hospital: The Story of Nainoa

     Wednesday May 20, 2009 at 2:45 am is when my journey started.  I woke up feeling what I thought were my practice contractions (although they were a bit stronger).   I decided that for some reason I had to poo (which never happens at that time).  Fifteen minutes later another contraction happened and again I had to poo.  Wondering if it was pre-labor I looked at one of my handouts and sure enough, contractions along with bowel movements were part of pre-labor.  Ten minutes later after another contraction I decided to wake up Eye to let him know what was going.  When he woke up he was like "Really?"    After an hour of timing my contraction they went from 15 minutes to 10 minutes to 7 minutes, all lasting about 30 seconds long.  The pain was definitely manageable.  I was feeling excited that I was going to meet my boy at some point soon.  I didn't want to get too excited though because I knew it could be a long day. I asked Eye to heat up the jacuzzi outside since it was way to early to call for my tub.  

     About 5:30 am I went outside and it was gorgeous.  It was so quiet and the sun was just about to rise.  Both the dogs came out and hung out with me while I sat in the warm jacuzzi.  I felt so peaceful and ready for whatever my labor was going to be. Each contraction started to get closer together.  They were around 3 minutes apart lasting 30 seconds long.  The surges were manageable.  I just breathed through them knowing that I had time to rest in between.    We called Jollina for the tub and called my BFF to let her know what was going on.  We also called my parents to let them know that they should start thinking about driving home since they were in Bakersfield.    I was surprised how close my contractions were considering I only started 2 hours ago!

     At 7:00 am Eye called  Tiffany, my doula, and April, my midwife, to let them know where we were at.  I labored in the jacuzzi for a while, ate some watermelon, drank water and then threw up twice against the rocks.  Thank goodness we were outside.  Kiko wanted to play ball and I tried to throw his ball in between contractions.   Oh Kiko.   Jollina came over to set up the tub so that everything in my room was ready for me.   Eye was so awesome.  He breathed with me while kneeling on concrete and made sure I stayed hydrated.     

    We went upstairs and I laid on my left side to try and get some rest.   My contractions were still 3 minutes a part lasting 30 seconds long.  I got on my hands and knees during some of them.  I swayed for some,  or laid still.  Tiffany came over around 8:30 am and my contractions went to 2 minutes, 30-40 seconds long.  Her hands were a Godsend!  She massaged me, reminded me to get the tension out, told me to go with low deep tones.  Eye was so supportive too.  He always breathed with me, held me as each contraction came.  They were such a good team together. They were my angels.   I felt great.  Even though the contractions were getting stronger,  I was feeling strong and able to do the work.  My body was meant for this, I knew I could do it and I was ready and open for it to get harder. 

           

     For the next 5 hour I labored everywhere.  In the tub, the bathroom, the bed, everywhere in my room.  It was awesome.  The dogs were chilling on the bed.  Everything was perfect.   My contractions were getting intense, still lasting 2 minutes a part, 45-50 seconds long.  Sherry, my midwife's assistant who was also one of my angels showed up around 12ish and started to set things up.  The surges were strong and I managed to get through them with the help of Eye, Tif and Sherry.  Time was flying by.  I had no concept of time.  I never once looked at a clock.  

     April arrived at 1:00 PM and at that time I was 8cm already.  (She told me after the fact because I never really wanted to know)  I thought for sure that I would meet my boy very soon. He might be here before his Grandparents come back home.   

    For the next 5 hours my contractions were getting stronger and I was in transition for 5 HOURS.  At several points April and Sherry would suggest different positions whether it by on the bed, next to the tub, in the tub, on the toilet, on the stairs.  I wanted to do everything I could to get the boy down my pelvis.  He just wasn't moving.  At 7:00 pm April decided to break my water to hopefully help the boy come down.  He just wasn't moving and I had been already dialated for hours.   When she broke the water there was meconium, but we didn't worry because the boy's heart beat was still strong.   They suggested I try and pee and as I was having a contraction the boy's heart beat dipped.   April then said, "He's not happy in there, I think we should go to the hospital." I didn't hesitate,  "Let's go."

    Everything changed in an instant.  We were leaving our amazing environment to go to the hospital.  I got in the back of the truck.  My contractions were crazy.  They were one minute apart lasting 60-90 seconds apart.  April told me to stay on my knees with my head on my hands.  It was very important for me to stay that way the whole car ride.  That 8 minute drive was the longest drive ever.  I had never focused so much in my life.  I had to breath, keep calm and not move from my position.  Of course we hit every red light and missed the turn into the emergency drive way.   April called ahead to the hospital and contacted Dr. Bolnick (married to a midwife).  He was going to be my OB for the night.  I felt reassured when Sherry told me that he's not a cut-her-up kinda of guy.  I was so relieved because I did not want to go under the knife. 

    As we pulled up to the emergency, I kept breathing  and got wheeled in to the bright hospital.  Thank goodness we pre-registered at Summerlin.  We went straight up to Labor and Delivery and I took off my dress and got on the hard bed.  It was such a whirl wind.  I got strapped to a fetal monitor and a contraction monitor.  I was now stuck to the bed.  Unfamiliar nurses, questions asked, things to sign, contractions kicking my ass.  I had no rest between contractions.  They were lasting 90 seconds long.  It was all so different.  Thank goodness I had my angels there.  Tiffany, April, Sherry, Ivan and my Mom all helped get through.  Dr. Bolnick came in, checked me and let me push for 2 hours.  The boy still didn't come down.  I was exhausted by that point.  I just didn't have it in me.  I just wanted to sleep.  I was suffering unnecessarily.  I couldn't deal with the pain, I didn't have it in me.  After 3 hours of pre-labor 4 hours of active labor, 6 hours of transition, a car ride from hell, 2 hours of pushing, I needed some help.  We decided to get an epidural so that I can sleep and hopefully the contractions will move the boy down and I will have the strength to push him out after I got some rest.  

   Epidural please, PLEASE.  Of course it took for ever for the anethesiologist to come.  I was screaming, "PLEASE HURRY, PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME, PLEASE GET HIM, PLEASE!"  I was thrashing around so hard my IV came out, blood everywhere.  He finally showed up after what seemed to be an eternity. Then came THE hardest part of the whole day.  Stay still during my strong surges? Are you high? Are you crazy?????  I don't know how I did it but I did. When I has hunched over Eye said baby's heart beat really dipped.   It took the guy 3 tries to get it right.  It took so much out of me not to move.  I can't believe I did it.  All that hard focus paid off because my legs went numb and I finally had relief. 

   Enter Dr. Bolnick stage left.  "He's not moving, he's up there and he's not coming out.  She's not even a zero."  (if crowning is +4, he was up there and I was a zero)  "I think it's time for a C-Section, listen there was a lot of meconium..."   "NOOOOOOOOOOO"  I screamed.   That wasn't the plan I had!  I didn't even want to be in the hospital.  I just wanted to sleep and I promise I'll push him out.   But there was the meconium.  Damn f-ing meconium!!!  If that wasn't in the equation, I would have been more persistent.  But I knew that in the end that was the right call.

    Ivan got scrubbed up. I got more drugs and the rest is history.  I was so out of it. The only important part of the story here is that Nainoa Santiago Gines Delaforce was born at 10:46 PM on May 20th at 7 pounds 13 ounces and 21 inches long. 

                      Ivan:  "You know we are keeping the placenta right?"

                Dr. Bolnick:  "What are you going to make stew?"

Random Guy:  "Really, you make stew?"

No we are keeping the placenta to encapsulate it.  Haven't you ever heard of placenta encapsulation?

   Because Nainoa had trouble breathing he was sent to the NICU.   They seem to think he inhaled meconium.   He also had low electrolytes which caused them to run a series of tests.  I won't bore you with all the miscellaneous tests they did on him because it honestly makes me very upset.   It was so hard not being able to bond and breast feed right away.  There were times I  just sobbed by his bed because he looked so helpless hooked up to so many wires and cords. Needless to say on May 25th (the day he was due) we brought him home healthy and happy. I am so thankful that he is has a clean bill of health.  

   Looking back at the whole experience.  I feel I still had my homebirth that I planned.  It was such an amazing experience laboring at home with my angels.  I feel like a strong woman who knows how to labor naturally.   I plan on having a homebirth if and when I get pregnant again.   Even though I ended up having a C-section, I always knew it was a possibility.  Things happen as they are suppose to happen.  I am not in control.  What matters now is that I have a beautiful son who needs me.  I am so thankful for that.  I am thankful that he is out in this world and he is healthy.   I am truly blessed.

    Thank you to my angels, Ivan, Tiffany, Sherry, and April.   Thank you everyone for all your love and support you have given us through email, text, voicemail and Facebook.   Your love got us through our trying times at the hospital.   We love you all so much.  

Aloha,

Coralissa, Ivan and Nainoa

90%

Yesterday I had an appointment with my OB.  I've gained 20 pounds total, which is totally normal.  He said I'll probably gain about 10 more pounds which puts me at the normal gain weight in pregnancy.  Must say I'm happy about that!  I really like my OB, he's very cool.  He's actually delivered two of my friend's babies.  One was emergency cesarean and one was natural.   I asked him a bunch of questions which, which he answered in a way that I thought he would.  "Only if baby or Mom is in danger then  (fill in the blank)"  Then the big questions was "How do you feel about home births?"    Don don daaaaa.  He responded, "Birth is a natural process, and if that's the route you want to go then there's no point in seeing me."    Whhhheeewww.  The key sentence for me was, "Birth is a natural process."  I was so happy he said that. I was totally afraid he was going to try and steer me away from having a home birth.  For me that was kinda my blessing from him.  I knew I liked him for a reason.  I then asked him if I did go with a home birth and I needed to transfer to the hospital, could he still be my doctor.  Unfortunately I knew the answer would be "No", due to liability.  Which makes me sad, but I understand.   If I do have to transfer then I know I will be fine because I will have my midwife, doula, and my husband.  I'm totally fine with the transfer if I have to.  I'm open to whatever needs to happen.   So I am pretty much 90% water birth.  Since my parents will be actually living with us now, I have to talk to them about it.  My Dad was never at the hospital for any of our births.  He just dropped my Mom off, went to work and came back to see the baby. I know he's not going to want to be around for my birth.   Sigh...so that's the next big conversation I need to have.   Wish me luck!!!!!!!

Midwifery

Today we went to one of our 3 midwife interviews. We had an hour consultation with April who was really great. She was a labor and delivery nurse for 2 years here in Vegas then decided to go into her own midwifery practice. We asked a lot of questions and felt really comfortable with her. After today I feel more and more comfortable with the idea of a home birth especially a water birth. I'm probably 50/50 as of today. I still want to talk to my OB to get his opinion and ask him my slew of questions. The more and more I research home births, the more it doesn't seem so crazy. I like the fact that April said, "Just because you plan a home birth, things might happen and medical intervention isn't a bad thing. You might have a really long labor, be exhausted and need an epidural or pitocin." That's the thing. You can plan and plan but you can't REALLY plan, which is hard coming from the most planny person in the planet. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, although my ideal birth would be a water birth, if I HAD to transfer to the hospital, I'm okay with that. I know that I have to be flexible. The most important thing is my health and the health of my baby. So in the end it really doesn't matter if his first day is at home or at a hospital, as long as he's healthy.

YOUR CRAZY!!!

My husband and I just watched the documentary made by Rikki Lake called, "The Business of Being Born."  The film is about home births vs. hospital births and how our American culture has made a business out of giving birth.   It was truly an eye opening movie.  After the movie, Eye looks at me and says, "so...now what...are we having a home birth now?"  Before we watched that movie I was always fascinated about water births.  I love the water.   I learned how to swim when I was 18 months old.  Both my husband and I are Pisces, so water has been apart of our relationship.   Before the movie I was pretty much set on having a hospital birth and and maybe having a home birth for my 2nd child.  I have no idea of what to expect when I have my baby.  I have no idea how much pain I can tolerate.  I have no idea how it's going to go down.   I am scared of the pain.  I am scared of having cesarean, even though two of my best girl friends have had them and are completely fine.  I thought I would find comfort on being in a hospital, but now I am questioning that. I love the thought of being in control of my situation and environment.  I love the thought of my son entering the world in water with me and Eye.  I love the thought of being in the privacy of my own home.   I love the thought of going through the right of passage that millions of women have been through for centuries. 

 It's funny, now that I am showing, the question is now "Where are you delivering?"  When I have replied, "I was actually thinking about a home birth." The most common response is, "YOUR CRAZY!"   Am I?